The Artichoke Fritter That Broke The Camel's Back

Last night I was closing at work (oh, for those who don't know I am back in NYC and working a lovely little restaurant in Hell's Kitchen) and I was serving three gentlemen who had come in post-show for some dinner.

If you know me, you know that I am the kind of server who talks to most of my guests comfortably and tries to read everyone to see what THEY want me to be. Are they outgoing and friendly? Good, that's me. Are they shutoff and would like to pretend I don't exist? Well, okay, but you are in a restaurant -- so a little eye contact and a smile is much appreciated.

Okay, back to the table that changed everything.

I was taking orders when the following scene occurred:

Begin Scene

Guest C: What exactly are the artichoke fritters?

AJ: Well, they....

Guest A: He's cute.

Guest B: What?

Guest A: The waiter. He's adorable.

AJ: (taken aback) Oh.

Guest A: He's exactly my type.

(AJ stands there confused. Is this man drunk? Does he not know that I am standing right there and can hear every word he says?)

Guest C: Oh, is that right?

Guest A: Oh yeah! I really have a thing for big guys!

(sound effect: SCREEEEEEEECH record stop sound)

AJ: Ummmmmm, what?

Guest A: (trying to be flirty) I just really like big guys.

AJ: (word vomit) Well, I am sure that every guy wants to be called a "big guy" when being flirted with.

Guest A: (back tracking) Oh, God!

Guests B & C: Oh, GOD!

Guest A: I'm sorry, I didn't mean big like, heavy. I meant big like, tall.

Guest B & C: Oh. My. God.

AJ: (who is indeed 6'2" and thus, TALL, is still suffering from word vomit -- sarcastically) I'm sure every person who has body image issues automatically equates the word BIG with TALL. (quickly comes to his senses. I'm at work, he thinks and this guy really means NOTHING by this.) I am so sorry, I didn't mean to make that awkward.

Guest C: No, he made it awkward. (addressing Guest A)

AJ: Now, the artichoke fritters.... (AJ continues to explain what they are all while feeling like a huge fool in his head. How could he be offended by what was obviously supposed to be a genuine compliment from a stranger).

(Over the course of the dinner, every time AJ goes back to check on things, refill waters, etc Guest A calls him gorgeous, delectable, delicious, adorable, beautiful and even compares him to Wild Mushroom Risotto Balls and Mashed Potatoes.)

End Scene

This wasn't the first time the word "big" had brought out insecurities. For years I've been called "big guy" and every time I get upset my friends tell me it's because I am "freakishly tall." But I can't help but think of big in terms of weight -- ie "big as a house" -- and so I decided it's time to fix two things.

1. Get the self confidence back that I know is inside me so I can be the best AJ I can be!

2. Change the things that can be changed and learn to accept the things that can't!